We all get secretive or rather private with certain information from time to time. For some it has become a habit.
There are definitely times we do not feel comfortable revealing what we were up to over the weekend. It could be family or personal secrets.
Either way too much of everything is not good for any one. Being so guarded about the commonest of details may say a lot about a person’s self esteem or personality.
Most secretive people are not aware that they are. Some do but just can’t help it.
Being noticeably secretive is a common trait of introverts. Introverts naturally withdraw into themselves. They often create high walls around themselves. Walls that are only leveled in their comfort zones.
Freud Sigmund’s theory suggests that being secretive can also indicate a sort of defense mechanism.
Being secretive can mean different things at different times to different people. The context suggests if it’s bad or good.
Since they won’t let us in the know we thought we figure out a few things about extremely secretive people.
1. You Are Are Your Own Worst Critic:
Perhaps it’s your weakness; you’ve done something wrong in the past; or encountered an ordeal that brings you shame and embarrassment and being open about it is a problem. You don’t want anyone to see or know that part of you because you don’t want to be judged or mocked. While you may succeed in keeping that away, nursing these feelings alone only shows you are not taking it easy with yourself. It appears as though you’ve condemned yourself before anyone else did.
Did you know that laughing at your mistakes makes them easier to deal with?
Being extremely secretive could hurt your self-esteem and confidence. It could give you the inferiority complex.
2. You’ve Created A Self-imaginary Impression Of You
For some reason you have concocted an image of who you want to be and how you want to sound. So withdrawing from external energy and influence may be the deal. Sadly, this style may become limiting at some point.
You must understand that life is made perfect with bits and pieces of imperfections. It’s okay to recognize and admit that fact all the time.
3. Being Too Secretive Could Get You Sick
Psychological researchers have found that being extremely secretive can make you sick. You can actually be one step away from grudging and having a high blood pressure.
Paranoia is something you should also look out for. This is where one harbors the fear of being hurt by others or wallowing in illusions of self importance, thus a reason to live a withdrawn life. Need we say it is unhealthy to live that way.
Health experts have found that paranoia is linked to mental/neurological disorders if left unchecked.
4. Being Secretive Could Cost You Help
In life there are people whom you do not want to lie to- family, friends, mechanics, your attorneys, priest in the confessional and the doctors. These are the people who require all the truth and information you can offer to know how to help you.
Unfortunately being secretive hurts us and our loved ones when sensitive information are withheld. Most importantly these people are there to render you a service, to help you. If they do not know where you are coming from it may be difficult to understand you or give an honest view about you.
Sharing your weakness, and worries with (of course) the right persons may be the beginning of your healing. It lifts the burden off you.
5. You Actually Could Be Mischievous
Some secretive people are suspected of mischief since no one ever knows what they are up to. Some of your friends may not find you trustworthy if you keep hiding things from them.
6. You May Be Perceived As Unaccommodating
Not a lot of people will have the patience to probe into your secretive nature. Only the few who see through you can tell that you find it awkward being around people. For some introverts, being around people can be work.
The truth is that you stand a risk of pushing friends and admirers away because they find you unaccommodating. You would not let anyone in your space.
7. Keeping Too Much Secrets Could Make You A Liar
If you keep sweeping things under the carpet, someday you’re going to have to fling the carpet away and clean up. Telling lies is a natural consequence of not revealing the truth. While trying to cover up something you may be tempted to tell lies and deceive people.
8. You definitely Have A Strong Personality
In a world of social media relevance, it takes a strong personality to maintain maximum privacy on social media platforms. The world must not take record of every single time you cough. It takes a deep sense of maturity to know that somethings are indeed best kept away from the public eye.
Secretive people are not always evil or troubled people. They could actually be the good guys. For instance, if we were all open with every secret, then we will have less doctors, attorneys, spies, and anyone else in professions that demand a code of secrecy.
One needs to be cautious about what is bared in the public especially when in the midst of the wrong kinds of people. Sometimes not wearing your heart round your sleeves can be a priceless virtue.
9. Trust Issues
Extremely secretive people may have trust issues and that’s why they hold back. On the other hand being a secretive person may earn you trust.
Since you are not always a gossip, your friends and loved ones will have no fear confiding in you because they are sure that their secrets are safe with you.
10. You Are normal Just Too Self-conscious
Your problem may be that you’ve grown to be too self-conscious. You have an acute sense of self-awareness and imagine that you are always being watched by others. That’s not true especially if have not done anything to warrant it.
Once again don’t be hard on yourself. We are not all supposed to be alike. Some are extroverted and open about everything while some others are shy, reserved and introverted. It may be natural or evoked by life experiences. In any case, always remember that habits are learned; and they can also be unlearned if they cause us harm.