Relationships whether romantic or professional are a lot like purchasing a brand new ride. At first, everything about the relationship sounds and looks okay. You goofy around with each other for weeks or months perhaps even years of awesome loving, before you begin to think of commitment which at that point can sour things up more than you think. And just like when a car breaks down and you get stuck on the side of the road trying to figure out what went wrong, relationships get to a certain point where you pause and try to remember how things got muddled up in the first place.
When a relationship gets stuck like that, the feeling can so be overwhelming, terrifying, heart-aching and sometimes one may end up wishing it didn’t exist in the first place. But one with eagle eyes would know when there is trouble in paradise just like a trained driver knows when a car is about to break down.
With our eagle’s eyes, we want to give you the sign to look out for. With these, you no longer need to be worried that you’re about to get dumped. They are simply some tip-offs to an oncoming ouster to help you step off before you get stepped on. Look out for any of them when you are afraid your partner is about to walk and opt out before he or she calls it a day.
Are your past mistakes always popping up in your relationship? Does your partner make reference to something you did a long time ago that didn’t take up to a minute or more, perhaps turns it into a big issue and get deeply angry about it? Take this for a fact, it could be a sign of resentment way more than the mistake itself.
Based on findings by the Gottman Relationship Institute, resentment will often start from one partner or both partners not feeling understood, or as if what matters to them is not valued, and could be a sign that the relationship is about turn into history.
2. Lack of Physical Intimacy
If your sex life suddenly turns into a dull repetitive event or a drab thing that only happens once after a long while because one of you have lost the desire entirely. This could be a sign that your relationship is failing or a sign that your partner wants out. But, before deciding to opt out, you are advised to try spicing things up by trying to relight the fire that always light up your sex life. This may include adding flavor to the old positions or introducing new ones as well or even changing completely or partially the environment where it normally happens. You could equally change attitude and level of affection towards each other during this time.
If you do all that and the tension persists, you might as well prepare your mind for the inevitable end.
3. Extended Periods of Silence
According to Rachel DeAlto, a relationship and flirting expert, “good communication is heavily vital to a relationship and the lack thereof can be a sign that the relationship is on fritz”. If you guys used to talk on phone several times a week, but lately, the calls come less often, with the usual excuse being “I’m busy at work”,you might wanna cut out.
Of course, failing to call as often as before creates a big void in your relationship and causes tiny problems to become mammoth issues. Try making things hit the normal lane, but if the excuses linger, darling, creep out of the relationship before the news of break-up creeps up on you.
4. When They Start Pulling Away
If you used to stick around each other at every little opportunity you have or do things together all the time, and all of a sudden your partner starts pulling apart, better watch it. Perhaps, your partner is now cool with the habit of spending time alone more often, and, or going out alone regularly unlike before. Or your partner dishes out the “I want to be alone speech” or obviously shows he or she is no longer ready to spend as much time with you as before… then it’s very possible he or she wants out.
In the same vein, if the two of you are sharing apartment and one of you has been spending more time at work or taking work trips just to avoid the idea of going home early or being around you, try to mend things possibly by figuring out what you are not doing right at that moment. If it persists, honey, just move away on time before you are moved out.
5. Lack of Interest
According to relationship expert and author Rachel DeAlto, “In love, you know your relationship is over when you become indifferent,” she says, adding that “if you don’t care what he does, where he goes, or whether you even see him, it is time to move on.”
In the same vein, if any one of you begins to make things that matter personal or either of you no longer talk about necessary things or even things that bother you, it could be an indication that your relationship is on its way out. Perhaps one of you has already moved on and is just waiting for the right time spill the big news.
But then again, before you start considering a breakup, try taking a time out, maybe a walk or sit out with no distractions and know whether conversation will flow more easily. If it proves to be extremely hard or impossible, then it becomes obvious that one of you just doesn’t care anymore. Do the needful, walk out before your partner walks on you because it could be that your partner is fed up and is only using you as a filler in the relationship before he finds someone new.
Also, if your partner has acutely become withdrawn from you and rarely tries to find out what is going on with you; no longer want to know anything about you that he or she used to crave to know, then it is time to wrap it up.
6. Threats of Break-up
Here is another big sign that most people overlook until it becomes a reality. If your partner has formed the habit of threatening quit the relationship or often expresses how regretful he or she is by dating you on the get-go, then have it in mind that your relationship is on a slide.
According to Susan Gacheru, a family coach, “overtones of threats and regrets are usually a red flag that what remains of the relationship is just fragments”. She went further to say that a partner may form this habit to gain advantage in arguments and key decisions in the relationship if they feel that you’re too scared to quit. “This evolves into a form of emotional abuse. Additionally, it could also be a sign that your partner has little commitment in you and hardly respects the relationship,” says Ms Gacheru.
7. Petty Fights and Nitpicking
According to Rachel, picking up unnecessary fights regularly is one of the ways spouses initiate a break-up. In this type of fights, you will seem not to be getting anything right; if you dress a certain way, he or she will come down hard on you on why you couldn’t dress another way, in a manner that almost compares you with another woman. The very things about you that he or she used to find alluring, he/she now finds irritating thus, picking petty fights over almost everything you do.
If your partner suddenly becomes 50 percent unlikely to notice anything you do to improve the relationship, according to Gottman Relationship Institute, just be aware that the relationship is possibly going down the drains. So you might as well wrap it up before he or she wraps you up instead.
8. Avoiding Future Plans or Being Afraid of Talking About The Future
If the thought of spending more time with you than necessary fills him or her with dread, then it might never work out after all. If your partner is in love with you and maybe wants something more, then you don’t need too much effort to make your partner particularly the man take the bold step of letting you into his or her future. In fact, the both of you ought to be excited any time the thought of living and sharing your life in future pops up.
So what if he or she is not? Well, you can’t force your partner to want to spend the rest of his or her lifetime with you, so avoid the relationship altogether.
9. He Pretends He Doesn’t Know You in Public
When the relationship started, he used to proudly take you to any place despite your look but suddenly stops being proud of you or stops letting people around meet you because he or she no longer think they will find you fit. There are absolutely no silver linings to be found in this sort of instance. If you approach your boyfriend or girlfriend at a bar, who happens to be chatting up a friend, and he greets you as if you have three heads and then continues with his conversation avoiding necessary introduction, you can rest assured that something is not okay. Sure, it’s a roundabout way for him or her to express his feelings, but avoiding it does not make any sense. Don’t wait until the “B” word comes knocking at your door; take a walk out of it in time.
10. When they Start Boxing You Out of the Plans
Does your partner plan without letting you in on any of it? Is there a “trip” scribbled in his plan for next weekend and he still hasn’t told you about it? Then you better get prepared because you’re about to get dumped. He used to tell you everything, and suddenly he starts doing a lot without bringing you into any of it. Okay, we know some people don’t like to say much, but it is necessary to say the important ones especially when your partner in question used to talk about things he or she wants to do. The one way out of this is to give him or her another chance to let you get on board. You can also disappear quickly for a few days and see if he or she misses you. If not, that partner is not worth keeping, so be on the move.