Anger makes us do crazy things—not in a good way. Perhaps you’ve, at some point, encountered that soft-spoken chap, who seemingly would never hurt a fly. By the look of things, this guy seems to have all the qualities of a “good guy.” He’s well mannered, he never talks too much and if you happen to have a qualm with him (or her), you’re unquestionably the bad guy. Now, one day, someone does something that accidentally puts on the button that sends your “Mr Nice Guy” into an angry mode. Without thinking, the guy responds by doing something that only villains are capable of. Does this act make this gentleman a bad guy? Does it mean he doesn’t have some anger management gears in him?
Of course, since humans have a tendency to judge people unfairly, the guy will definitely be downgraded (maybe upgraded) to a bad guy. But before we stone the biblical Stephen here, hold! The guy has only committed a single crime: he didn’t control his anger. And like we know, being angry is not a crime. But whatever we do when we’re angry is what make us criminals or saints ( saints in the sense that you get slapped on one cheek and offer the other one for a second slap).
So before you continue to read the rest of this article, just know you’re only a step away from being a murderer or a saint. And apparently, like you’ve seen, it’s easier to commit a crime; especially if you don’t learn how to control your temper with good anger management techniques listed below. Take a look at:
How to Control Your Temper With Good Anger Management Techniques
(1) Take a timeout
What transpires when someone reacts out of anger is usually a “snaps like” occurrence. You’ve probably heard statements like, “I was angry and the next thing I remember was seeing his eyeball lying on the floor.” Why?
The answer is simple; you actually allowed your anger to control you. And that alone makes you a bad person. To prevent yourself from overreacting each time someone gets on your nerves, learn to take your time out in every tense situation. As a matter of facts, all you have to do is to count 1 to 10, and your brains will be back to work. Besides, you’ll have time to defuse your temper, which is a good start in subsiding your frustrations.
(2) Learn to express your anger after you’ve calmed down
I have been helped to understand that there are actually two types of people on this planet. First, we have the kind of people who get angry, then smile and then lock the “anger” safely in their “anger banks.” Usually, the accumulated anger is withdrawn when the individual is pissed to an extent where she/he can’t take it anymore. And what transpires after that is what makes the news we see.
Secondly, there’s this type of people who will get angry and then howl anything nasty that pops up in their head to make you feel bad. And if they’re muscled than you, then you’ll inevitably be receiving a number of punches to teach you some manners. They are the kind that doesn’t believe in the power of saving. As a result, they’ll be like ‘if I can make you pay now, why later?”
From the illustrations, the difference between these two types of people is that one group has an easy way of expressing anger, while the other group has a tendency to “hold back” what should be let out; lest it blows out to cause greater damage. To stay safe, it’s recommended that you air your anger out to the concerned party clearly and directly every time you’re mad at someone. But most importantly, do it after you’re convinced that you’ve completely calmed down and you’re incapable of harming anyone, as well.
(3) Whenever you’re angry, use the first persona when talking
Using the second person will definitely make you see all the reasons why your friend deserves the worst. As a result, your brain will automatically be made to come up with ways of making the chap on the other end pay for getting you angry. And before you even think, your friend’s ears will be somewhere on the floor.
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To stay out of trouble or avoid such a terrible situation, it’s worthwhile to learn how to use “I” in every statement you make each time you’re mad at someone. This is helpful in every anger management situation. For example, “I’m really upset that you left without uttering a word.” Or, “I’m really mad at you for stealing from me.” The good part is that by doing this, you’ll be sounding more polite, which may in turn help to ice the heat between the two of you.
(4) Practice relaxation skills
Are you mad? Relax. Don’t ask how, because it’s as simple as closing your eyes and breathing deeply; then slowly, but severally. To be clear, close your eyes. Now exhale huge amounts of air slowly. Hold it for a couple of seconds (five or ten). Then exhale the air and repeat the cycle until you’re convinced that you’re actually relaxed.
(5) Seek help
If you think you have anger management issues, it’s advisable to seek professional help. This assistance is indispensable for anyone who has a tendency of doing things then regretting later when the anger has subsided. With the help of a professional counsellor, you’ll learn about:
– What exactly causes anger?
– How to handle anyone who gets you mad?
– How will you know if you’re becoming angry?
– And lastly, how to respond to anger or frustrations?