You may not of heard about Helen Keller jokes, but bet me they are quite an interesting set of jokes you will ever come across. Though some people claim that Helen Keller jokes are not funny but such will be proven wrong by this set of Helen Keller jokes. They are interesting, hilarious and relaxing. If your name is Helen or probably Helen Keller then please do bear with us, it’s all a joke and nothing personal. A lot of things have been attributed to Helen Keller in these jokes, but they are just for fun. Even if your name is Helen, I’m sure you will find these jokes interesting.
Below are over 70 very funny Helen Keller Jokes.
Funny Helen Keller Jokes -Best Helen Keller Jokes
1. Why was Helen Keller late for school? DUI
2. Why is all of Helen Keller’s face burnt? She was bobbing for French fries
3. How did Helen Keller burn the side of her face? She answered the iron
4. How did Helen Keller burn the other side of her face? They called back
5. What is Helen Keller’s favorite color? Velcro
6. How come Helen Keller can’t have kids? Because she’s dead!
7. How did Helen Keller drive herself crazy? Trying to read a stucco wall
8. Why can’t Helen Keller drive a car? She’s a woman.
9. How did Helen Keller learn to masturbate? Trying to read her own lips.
10. Why does Helen Keller wear tight jeans? So people can read her lips
11. What do you call Stevie Wonder and Helen Keller playing tennis? Eternal love.
12. How did Helen Keller’s parents punish her? They stuck a plunger in the toilet.
13. How many kids did Helen Keller have? NONE! The plunger went all the way through!
14. If Helen Keller fell down in the woods, would she make a sound?
15. Why did Helen Keller’s dog commit suicide? You would too if your name was Urghrrghrghr
16. Have you heard of the new Helen Keller doll? Wind it up and it walks into walls
17. What did Helen Keller’s parents do to punish her? Put saran wrap on the toilet
18. What was Helen Keller’s favorite childhood game? Musical chairs
19. Why didn’t Helen Keller change her baby’s diaper? So she could always find him
20. Why did Helen Keller have yellow fingers? From whispering sweet-nothings in her boyfriends ear
21. How did Helen Keller pick her eyes out? She shouted hysterically
22. Have you seen a picture of Helen Keller’s dad? Neither has she!
23. Did you know that Helen Keller had a doll house in the backyard? Neither did she
24. How did Helen Keller burn her ear off? Answering the iron!
25. How did she burn the other one off? They called back!
26. What did Helen Keller name her dog? Nymphdrumpherlmf.
27. How did Helen Keller’s parents punish her? By walking on her Braille books with golf shoes.
28. How does Helen Keller drive? One hand on the wheel and one hand on the road!
29. Why does Helen Keller have holes in her face? She tried eating with a fork.
30. Why was Helen Keller’s leg yellow? Her dog was blind too.
31. What did Helen Keller’s parents do to punish her for swearing? Washed her hands with soap.
32. How did Helen Keller burn her hands? She was trying to read a waffle iron
33. Where do Helen Keller’s parents have her go when there’s company over? Disney world
34. How do you get Helen Keller to keep a secret? Break her fingers
35. Why did Helen Keller cross the road? What, like she knows where she’s going!
36. What’s this (slowly waving fingers)? Helen Keller moaning
37. How do you tell if Helen Keller is alive? If you hear something fall down the stairs
38. Why does Helen Keller play the piano with one hand? Because she sings with the other!
39. Whats Helen Keller’s excuse every time she loses a competition? She couldn’t see
40. Why did Helen Keller’s last relationship not work? Her boyfriend complained about how she never listened to his problems.
Helen Keller Funny Jokes – Helen Keller Jokes
41. Why did Helen Keller eat her poop? She thought it was a candy bar.
42. Did you hear about the new Helen Keller Doll? You wind her up and she bumps into the furniture!
43. What is Helen Keller’s favorite Convenience Store? WAAAWAAA
44. Why did Helen Keller’s dog kill itself? You would too if your name was sajifjlsisdjifiuopoo
45. How did Helen Keller burn her fingers? Reading the waffle iron
46. What did Helen Keller do when she fell down the well? She screamed and screamed until her hands turned blue
47. How come Helen Keller didn’t scream when she fell off the cliff? She was wearing mittens
48. Why does Helen Keller wear skin-tight pants? So you can read her lips
49. How did Helen Keller break her arm while in the car? Trying to read a stop sign going 80
50. Whats the name of Helen Keller’s favorite book? Around the Block in 80 Days
51. What do you call a tennis match between Helen Keller and Stevie Wonder? Endless love
52.Did you know that Helen Keller had a doll house in the backyard? Neither did she
53. If Helen Keller were psychic, would she call it a fourth sense?
54. What did Helen Keller say to the shop assistant when she knocked over a product-display in the store? Just looking!
55. Why couldn’t Helen Keller play on her high school football team? Because she’s a girl
56. Why does Helen Keller masturbate with one hand? So she can moan with the other.
57. How did Helen Keller become blind and deaf? She was a PC and got a virus
58. How do you mess with Helen Keller? Give her a basketball and tell her to read it
59. Why is it okay to tell Helen Keller jokes? Because she can’t hear them anyway!
60. What is Helen Keller’s favorite color? Black
61. How can you tell if Helen Keller has brushed her teeth? By the Gleam in her eye.
62. Why does Helen Keller play the piano with only one hand? She uses the other to sing with.
63. What was the worst day in Helen Keller’s life? The day she burned her mouth, and couldn’t taste anything, either.
64. How did Helen Keller drive a car? With one hand on the wheel, and one hand on the road.
65. How did Helen Keller drive her car? One hand on the wheel, the other on the road
66. How did Helen Keller meet her husband? On a blind date!
67. How did Helen Keller pierce her ear? Answering the stapler
68. What do you call a tennis match between Helen Keller and Stevie wonder? Endless love
69. Why does Helen Keller wear tight pants? So you can read her lips!!
70. What was Helen Keller’s favorite childhood game? Musical Chairs
71. How did Helen Keller’s teachers punish her for talking in class? They made her wear mittens
72. Remember the Helen Keller doll? You’d wind her up and watch her walk into walls.
73. Why does Helen Keller masturbate with her left hand? So she can moan with her right hand
74. What is Helen Keller’s favorite mouthwash? Jergens lotion.
75. What did Helen Keller scream when she fell off the mountain? Nothing, she was wearing mittens.
76. Whats Helen Keller’s favorite movie? Around the Block in 80 days.
77. Why was Helen Keller’s leg wet? Her dog was blind too.
