70+ Funny Helen Keller Jokes

You may not of heard about Helen Keller jokes, but bet me they are quite an interesting set of jokes you will ever come across. Though some people claim that Helen Keller jokes are not funny but such will be proven wrong by this set of Helen Keller jokes. They are interesting, hilarious and relaxing. If your name is Helen or probably Helen Keller then please do bear with us, it’s all a joke nothing personal. A lot of things have been attributed to Helen Keller in these jokes, but they are just for fun. Even if your name is Helen, am sure you will find these jokes interesting.

Below are over 70 very funny Helen Keller Jokes.

Funny Helen Keller Jokes

Funny Helen Keller Jokes -Best Helen Keller Jokes

1. Why was Helen Keller late for school? DUI

2. Why is all of Helen Keller’s face burnt? She was bobbing for French fries

3. How did Helen Keller burn the side of her face? She answered the iron

4. How did Helen Keller burn the other side of her face? They called back

5. What is Helen Keller’s favorite color? Velcro

6. How come Helen Keller can’t have kids? Because shes dead!

7. How did Helen Keller drive herself crazy? Trying to read a stucco wall

8. Why can’t Helen Keller drive a car? She’s a woman.

9. How did Helen Keller learn to masturbate? Trying to read her own lips.

10. Why does Helen Keller wear tight jeans? So people can read her lips

11. What do you call Stevie Wonder and Helen Keller playing tennis? Eternal love.

12. How did Helen Keller’s parents punish her? They stuck a plunger in the toilet.

13. How many kids did Helen Keller have? NONE! The plunger went all the way through!

14. If Helen Keller fell down in the woods, would she make a sound?

15. Why did Helen Keller’s dog commit suicide? You would too if your name was Urghrrghrghr

16. Have you heard of the new Helen Keller doll? Wind it up and it walks into walls

17. What did Helen Keller’s parents do to punish her? Put saran wrap on the toilet

18. What was Helen Keller’s favorite childhood game? Musical chairs

19. Why didn’t Helen Keller change her baby’s diaper? So she could always find him

20. Why did Helen Keller have yellow fingers? From whispering sweet-nothings in her boyfriends ear

21. How did Helen Keller pick her eyes out? She shouted hysterically

22. Have you seen a picture of Helen Keller’s dad? Neither has she!

23. Did you know that Helen Keller had a doll house in the backyard? Neither did she

24. How did Helen Keller burn her ear off? Answering the iron!

25. How did she burn the other one off? They called back!

26. What did Helen Keller name her dog? Nymphdrumpherlmf.

27. How did Helen Keller’s parents punish her? By walking on her Braille books with golf shoes.

28. How does Helen Keller drive? One hand on the wheel and one hand on the road!

29. Why does Helen Keller have holes in her face? She tried eating with a fork.

30. Why was Helen Keller’s leg yellow? Her dog was blind too.

31. What did Helen Keller’s parents do to punish her for swearing? Washed her hands with soap.

32. How did Helen Keller burn her hands? She was trying to read a waffle iron

33. Where do Helen Keller’s parents have her go when there’s company over? Disney world

34. How do you get Helen Keller to keep a secret? Break her fingers

35. Why did Helen Keller cross the road? What, like she knows where she’s going!

36. What’s this (slowly waving fingers)? Helen Keller moaning

37. How do you tell if Helen Keller is alive? If you hear something fall down the stairs

38. Why does Helen Keller play the piano with one hand? Because she sings with the other!

39. Whats Helen Keller’s excuse every time she loses a competition? She couldn’t see

40. Why did Helen Keller’s last relationship not work? Her boyfriend complained about how she never listened to his problems.