Enjoy a collection of our jokes and some funny riddles added to it, that is what we are poised to do, giving you lots of funny jokes that will cause you to laugh away your sorrows and brighten your day. Let’s tickle you once more with these funny set of jokes and riddle that you have never heard before.
Kids Jokes And Riddles
1. What did the tree say to the light bulb?”Hey! Just had a bright idea!”
2. What does the Invisible Man drink at snack time? Evaporated milk.
3. What is a ghost’s favorite fruit? BOOberries.
4. Why was Dracula put in jail? He tried to rob a blood bank.
5. What is a gas station’s favorite type of shoes?Pumps.
6. Why was 6 afraid of 7? Because 7 8 9!
7. What kind of place should you never take a dog? To the Flea Market.
8. What do you call a cow in an earthquake? A milkshake!
9. What is black and white and read all over? A newspaper.
10. Where do cows stay when they go on vacation? MOO-tels!
11. Why did the millionaire refuse to move to Alaska? He didn’t want to freeze his assets.
12. What does a frog eat with his hamburger? French Flies!
13. What is a snake’s favourite subject? HISStory!
14. What has four legs, a tail, whiskers and cuts grass? A lawn MEOW-er!
15. Which country is the slipperiest? Greece!
16. Why did the pencil cross the road first? He was the LEADer!
17. There was a green house. Inside the green house there was a white house. Inside the white house there was a red house. Inside the red house there were lots of babies. What is it?A watermelon!
18. What did the toilet say when he was playing cards? “Flush!”
19. If you say it you break it. What is it? Silence.
20. What does an orange do when it takes a test? It concentrates!
21. Tall in the morning, short at noon, gone at night but I’ll be back soon. What am I?A shadow!
22. Why couldn’t the shipmates play cards? The captain was sitting on the deck!
23. What should you do when you see a green alien? Wait until it’s ripe!
24. Why did the duck cross the road? Because it thought it was a chicken.
25. Why did the turkey cross the road? Because Thanksgiving was right around the corner.
26. Why did the baker go to jail? Because he got caught beating the eggs.
27. Why did the crab cross the road? To get to the other the tide.
28. I have 7 children half of them are boys, what is the other half? They were all boys.
29. Where do pirates like to eat? ARR-bys!
30. What kind of flower lives between your mouth and your chin? Two-lips.
31. Why is a giraffe’s neck so long? Because their feet stink.
32. What do you get if you cross a cow and a duck? A creamy quacker!
33. What’s red and mushy and is found between sharks teeth? Slow swimmers.
34. What has 6 eyes but cannot see? Three blind mice.
35. Why do Sharks only swim salt water? Because pepper water makes them sneeze!
36. Who does Frankenstein invite to his party? Anyone he can gobble up!
37. What has a forest with no trees, lakes without water, roads with no cars and deserts with no sand? A map!
38. What do ghosts wear on their feet?BOOts.
39. What fish can help you build a house? A hammerhead shark.
40. Why don’t ducks tell jokes when they are flying? Because they just might quack up.
41. What did the cannibal say after he ate a clown?”That tasted funny!”
42. In what way can the letter A help a deaf lady? It can make her hear.
Good Jokes And Riddles
43. What travels around the world but stays in one spot?A stamp!
44. What occurs once in a minute, twice in a moment and never in one thousand years?The letter M
45. What has 4 eyes but can’t see?Mississippi
46. If I have it, I don’t share it. If I share it, I don’t have it. What is it?A Secret.
47. Take away my first letter, and I still sound the same. Take away my last letter, I still sound the same. Even take away my letter in the middle, I will still sound the same. I am a five letter word. What am I ?EMPTY
48. What has hands but can not clap? A clock
49. What can you catch but not throw?A cold.
50. A house has 4 walls. All of the walls are facing south, and a bear is circling the house. What color is the bear?
51. The house is on the north pole, so the bear is white.
52. What is at the end of a rainbow?The letter W!
53. What is as light as a feather, but even the world’s strongest man couldn’t hold it for more than a minute? His breath!
54. You draw a line. Without touching it, how do you make the line longer?You draw a shorter line next to it, and it becomes the longer line.
55. What has one eye but cannot see?A needle
56. A man leaves home and turns left three times, only to return home facing two men wearing masks. Who are those two men?A Catcher and Umpire.
57. Which weighs more, a pound of feathers or a pound of bricks? Neither, they both weigh one pound!
58. How many months have 28 days? All 12 months!
59. What goes up when rain comes down? An umbrella!
60. What is the longest word in the dictionary?Smiles, because there is a mile between each ‘s’
61. If I drink, I die. If i eat, I am fine. What am I? A fire!
62. What word becomes shorter when you add two letters to it?Short
Halloween Jokes And Riddles
63. Q: How do you mend a broken Jack-o-lantern?
A: With an orange pumpkin patch!
64. Q: How do you know your doctor is a vampire?
A: He draws your blood from your neck with a straw!
65. Q: What do blondes and Jack-O-Lanterns have in common?
A: Both have blank smiling expressions and are hollow inside!
66. Q: What kind of shoes do baby ghosts wear?
67. Q: Who is the Dracula’s super hero girl friend?
A: Bat Ghoul!
68. Q: Why did Dracula have to go to jail?
A: Because he robbed the blood bank dry!
69. Q: Why couldn’t the mummy answer the phone?
A: Because she was all wrapped up!
70. Q: Why didn’t the skeleton cross the road?
A: Because he didn’t have any guts!
71. Q: How can you tell if a vampire has a horrible cold?
A: By his deep loud coffin!
72. Q: What’s the part of a restaurant where vampires don’t suck blood?
A: The non-suckers section!
73. Q: What did the Mommy ghost say to the baby ghost?
A: Don’t spook until you’re spooken too!
74. Q: What kind of clothes do the coolest zombies wear?
A: Decay NY!
75. Q: How do vampires get around?
A: In their bloody mobiles!
76. Q: How many witches does it take to change a LED light bulb?
A: Depends on what you want to change it into!!
77.Q: When does a spooky skeleton laugh?
A: When something tickles his funny bone!
78. Q: What is a Mummies’ favorite type of dance music?
79. Q: Why aren’t there more famous skeletons?
A: They’re a bunch of no bodies!
80. Q: What do little trees say on Halloween?
A: Twig or treat!
81. Q: What do you get when you cross a super computer with a bloody sucking vampire?
A: A know-it-all, that’s really a pain in the neck!
82. Q: Where did the busy ghost buy his stamps?
A: At the spooky post office!
83. Q: What did one old witch say to other when she asked for a ride?
A: There’s always broom for one more!
84. Q: What kind of roads do young ghosts haunt?
A: DEAD ENDS!
85. Q: Why are black cats such good singers?
A: They’re very meeewsical!
86. Q: Where do hard-working ghosts go on vacation?
A: The Eerie canal!
87. Q: What did the witch’s kid want for Christmas?
A: A haunted dollhouse!
88. Q: What is an evil monster’s favorite food?
A: Ghoul scout cookies!
89. Q: What do little ghost kids eat for dinner?
90. Q: Who did the scary ghost invite to his party?
A: Any old friend he could dig up!
91. Q: What did one little girl ghost say to other little girl ghost?
A: Do you believe we use to be people?
92. Q: How do ugly witches tell time?
A: With a witch watch!
93. Q: What is the best way to talk to Count Dracula?
A: By bat phone!
94. Q: What did the skeleton say when his brother told a lie?
A: You can’t fool me, I can see right through you!
95. Q: What does a ghost swim in?
A: DEAD sea water!
96. Q: What does a ghost put on her breakfast cereal in the morning?
A: A few boonanas and booberries!
97. Q: What’s a vampire’s favorite feast of the year?
A: Fangsgiving Day dinner!
98. Q: When do witches like to cook their victims?
A: On Fry-Day!
99. Q: What’s the difference between a mummy and an Indian?
A: An Indian lives in a teepee, and a mummy is the living dead!
100. Q: Why shouldn’t you try to hug a spooky ghost?
A: Because all you get is a couple of handfuls of sheet!
101. Q: What did the full moon vampire say to the other full moon vampire?
A: See you next month!
102. Q: What do you call two witches living together?
103. Q: What does a witch ask for when she is staying in a hotel?
A: Fast broom service!
104. Q: Why didn’t the skeleton dance at the Halloween party?
A: It had no body to dance with!
105. Q: What does a cute baby bat say before going to bed?
A: Turn on the dark! I’m afraid of the light!
106. Q: Do spooky scary monsters eat hot popcorn with their fingers?
A: NO, they eat some poor guys fingers separately!
107. Q: How do you upset a blood sucking vampire?
A: Go to his house and install a large skylight!
108. Q: Why do witches need to wear name tags?
A: So, they would know which witch is which!
109. Q: What is the largest building in Transylvania?
A: The Vampire State Building!
110. Q: What do you do with a very green monster?
A: Wait until it ripens!
Jokes And Riddles For Adults
111. Q What’s the height of conceit?
A. Having an orgasm and calling out your own name.
112. Q. What’s the definition of macho?
A. Jogging home from your vasectomy.
113. Q : What’s the difference between purple and pink?
A. The grip.
114. Q. How do you find a blind man in a nudist colony?
A. It’s not hard.
115. Q.Why is divorce so expensive?
A. Because it’s worth it!
116. Q. What is a Yankee?
A. The same as a quickie, but a guy can do it alone.
117. Q: What is the difference between medium and rare?
A: Six inches is medium, eight inches is rare.
118. Q. Why do women rub their eyes when they get up in the morning?
A .. They don’t have balls to scratch!
119. Q: How do you circumcise a hillbilly?
A: Kick his sister in the jaw.
120. Q. What’s the difference between a G-Spot and a golf ball?
A. A guy will actually search for a golf ball
121. Q: What’s the difference between a boyfriend and a husband?
A: 45 minutes.
122. Q: Why do men find it difficult to make eye contact?
A: Breasts don’t have eyes.
123. Q. What is the difference between a drug dealer and a hooker?
A. A hooker can wash her crack and sell it again.
124. Q. What’s a mixed feeling?
A. When you see your mother-in-law backing off a cliff in your new car.
125. Q: What’s the difference between a girlfriend and a wife?
A: 45 pounds.
126. Q: If the dove is the bird of peace, what is the bird of true love?
A. The swallow.
127. Q. Do you know how New Zealanders practice safe sex?
A. They spray paint X’s on the back of the sheep that kick!
128. Q. What do Tupperware and a walrus have in common?
A. They both like a tight seal.
129. Q. What do a Christmas tree and a priest have in common?
A. Their balls are just for decoration.
130.Q.What is the difference between ‘ooooooh’and ‘aaaaaaah’?
A. About three inches.
Christmas Jokes And Riddles
131. Q: What do you call Santa when he stops moving?
A: Santa Pause!
132. Q: Where does a snowman keep his money?
A: In a snow bank.
133. Q: Who gives presents to baby sharks?
A: Santa Jaws.
134. Q: What do elves learn in school?
A: The elf-abet.
135. Q: Where do mistletoe go to become famous?
A: “Holly” wood!
136. Q: Why do Mummies like Christmas so much?
A: Because of all the wrapping!
137. Q: Name the child’s favorite Christmas king?
A: A stocking.
138. Q: Why can’t the Christmas tree stand up?
A: It doesn’t have legs.
139. Q: Why does Santa have three gardens?
A: So he can go HOE HOE HOE.
140. Q: What do you get when you deep fry Santa Claus?
A: Crisp Kringle.
141. Q: How do you know when Santa’s in the room?
A: You can sense his presents.
142. Q: What did Mrs. Claus say to Santa when she looked in the sky?
A: “Looks like rain, dear.”
143. Q: Why is Santa so good at karate?
A: Because he has a black belt!
144. Q: What kind of bug hates Christmas?
A: A humbug.
145. Q: What do you get if you cross an apple and a Christmas tree?
146. Q: Which elf was the best singer?
A: ELFis Presley.
147. Q: How much did Santa pay for his sleigh?
A: Nothing, it was on the house!
148. Q: What do you call a snowman in the summer?
A: A puddle!
149. Q: What do you get when you cross a snowman with a vampire?
150. Q: What do snowmen eat for breakfast?