167 Most Hilarious Jokes Ever

These are not just jokes, they have been titled the most hilarious jokes ever and that is exactly how it is. There are different types of jokes and most times we come across jokes that are so boring and not funny at all despite the fact that it was supposed to make people laugh. When a joke fails to make people laugh, obviously the purpose has been defeated. On the other hand, there are jokes that are quite funny, but these particular set of jokes that are lined up on this list has been termed the most hilarious jokes ever, so you are guaranteed of a moment of serious laughter. Here is our list of most hilarious jokes ever we hope you’ll find them interesting.

Hilarious Short Jokes – Short  Hilarious Jokes

1. What do you call cheese that’s not yours? It’s nacho cheese.

2. What do you get when you put a candle in a suit of armour? A knight light.

3. Have you heard about corduroy pillows?! They’re making headlines!

4. Two drums and a cymbal fall off a cliff. Ba-dum Tish!

4. There were two peanuts walking down a dark alley, one was assaulted.

5. What do you call a cow with two legs? Lean beef.

6. How do you catch a unique rabbit? You ‘neek’ up on it.

7. How do you catch a tame rabbit? The ‘tame’ way.

8. What did the green grape say to the purple grape? BREATHE!

9. The past, present and future walk into a bar. It was tense.

10. What goes “ha ha thump”? A man laughing his head off.

11. What did the grape say when he was pinched? Nothing, he gave a little wine.

12. What’s brown and sticky? A stick!

13. How do you make a tissue dance? You put a little boogie in it.

14. Why did the policeman smell bad? He was on duty.

15. Why does Snoop Dogg carry an umbrella? FO DRIZZLE!

16. Why can’t you hear a pterodactyl in the bathroom? Because it has a silent pee.

17. Why did the storm trooper buy an iphone? He couldn’t find the Droid he was looking for.

18. Why is six afraid of seven? Because seven ate nine.

19. How does Jesus make tea???? Hebrews it.

20. What do you get when you cross an elephant and a rhino? Elephino!

21. What did the farmer say when he couldn’t find his tractor? “Where’s my Tractor?!”

22. Have you heard about the duck that was arrested for dealing? He was selling “quack”.

23. What did the little fish say when he swam into a wall? DAM!

24. Where does a sheep go for a haircut? To the baaaaa baaaaa shop!

25. What does a nosey pepper do? Gets jalapeno business!

26. What do you get when you throw a piano down a mine shaft? A flat miner.

27. Have you heard about the cannibal that passed his brother in the forest?

28. Who’s there?” … “Control freak. Okay now you say, ‘Control freak who?”

29. What did the Zen Buddist say to the hotdog vendor? Make me one with everything.

30. What kind of bees make milk instead of honey? Boobies.

31. Horse walks into a bar. Bartender says, “Why the long face?”

32. What do you do with a dead chemist …. You Barium.

33. What’s the difference between a woman with PMS and a Pitt Bull? – Lipstick!

34. What do you call a sleepwalking nun… A roamin’ Catholic.

35. How do you make holy water? You boil the hell out of it.

36. What did the 0 say to the 8? Nice belt!

37. Why did the orange stop? Because, it ran outta juice.

38. What’s brown and sounds like a bell? Dung!

39. What do you call a deer with no eyes? No eye deer.

40. What’s the last thing that goes thru a bug’s mind as he hits the windshield? His butt.

41. I never make mistakes…I thought I did once; but I was wrong.

42. What’s Beethoven’s favorite fruit?…Ba-na-na-naaa!

43. Why are pirates so mean? I don’t know, they just arrrrrrrrr!

44. Why was Tigger looking in the toilet? He was looking for Pooh!

Hilarious Knock Knock Jokes

45. Knock Knock Who’s there? Tunis! Tunis who? Tunis company, three’s a crowd!

46. Knock Knock Who’s there? Iran! Iran who? Iran over here to tell you this!

47. Knock Knock Who’s there? Opportunity Don’t be silly – opportunity doesn’t knock twice!

48. Knock Knock Who’s there? Daisy Daisy who? Daisy me rollin, they hatin

49. Knock, Knock! Who’s there? A Pile-Up A Pile-Up Who? Ewwwwww

50. Knock, Knock! Who’s there? Doctor Doctor who? That’s a great T.V. show, isn’t it?

51. Knock knock Who’s there Gorilla Gorilla who Gorilla me a hamburger

52. Knock knock Who’s there Amish Amish Who? Awwww How sweet. I miss you too.

53. Knock, Knock! Who’s There? Dewey! Dewey who? Dewey have to use a condom?

54. Knock Knock Who’s There? Ben Hur Ben Hur who? Ben Hur over and give it to her doggy style!

55. Knock Knock Who’s There? Justin Justin who? You’re Justin time to wipe my @$$ !

56. Knock Knock Who’s there! Ice cream ! Ice cream who ? Ice cream if you don’t let me in!

57. Knock Knock Who’s there? Doris! Doris who? Doris locked that’s why I am knocking!

58. Knock Knock. Who’s there? The guy who finished second. The guy who finished second who? Exactly.

59. Knock knock! Who’s there? Yah! Yah who? Naaah, bro, I prefer google.

60. Knock, Knock! Who’s There? Buster! Buster who? Buster Cherry! Is your daughter home?

61. Knock Knock Who’s there? Orange Orange who? Orange you going to answer the door?

62. Knock knock! Who’s there? Dwayne! Dwayne who? Dwayne the bathtub, I’m drowning.

63. Knock Knock Who’s there? Alex! Alex who? Alex the questions round here!

64. Knock Knock. Who’s there? Butch, Jimmy and Joe. Butch, Jimmy, and Joe Who? Butch your arms around me, Jimmy a kiss, and let’s Joe.

65. Knock Knock Who’s there? Urine Urine Who? URINEsecure don’t know what for

66. Knock Knock Who’s there ! Waiter ! Waiter who ? Waiter I get my hands on you!

67. Knock Knock Who’s there? Old lady Old lady who? Wow I didn’t know you could yodel.

68. Knock, Knock! Who’s there? Dumbbell. Dumbbell who? Dumbbell doesn’t work so I had to knock!

Hilarious  Jokes For Adults

69. Q: Why was there thunder and lightning in the lab?
A: The scientists were brainstorming!

70. Q: Why did Tony go out with a prune?
A: Because he couldn’t find a date!

71. Q: What is the difference between a school teacher and a train?
A: The teacher says spit your gum out and the train says “chew chew chew”.

72. Q: Why did the birdie go to the hospital?
A: To get a tweetment.

73. Q. What do you get when you cross a cow and a duck?
A. Milk and quackers!

74. Q: What did the leopard say after eating his owner?
A: Man, that hit the “spot.”

75. Q: Did you hear the joke about the roof?
A: Never mind, it’s over your head!

76. Q: Why didn’t the skeleton go to the dance?
A: Because he had no-body to go with.

77. Q: How do crazy people go through the forest?
A: They take the psycho path.

78. Q: What do you say when you lose a wii game?
A: I want a wii-match!

79. Q: How do you make an Octupus laugh?
A: With ten-tickles

80. Q: Why can’t your nose be 12 inches long?
A: Because then it would be a foot!

81. Q: How do you drown a Hipster?
A: In the mainstream.

82. Q: How do you make holy water?
A: Boil the hell out of it!

83. Q: What happened to the dog that swallowed a firefly?
A: It barked with de-light!

84. Q: What stays in the corner and travels all over the world?
A: A stamp.

85. Q: What do you get from a pampered cow?
A: Spoiled milk.

86. Q: What do lawyers wear to court?
A: Lawsuits!

87. Q: What gets wetter the more it dries?
A: A towel.

88. Q: What do you call an alligator in a vest?
A: An Investigator

89. Q: What happens if you eat yeast and shoe polish?
A: Every morning you’ll rise and shine!

90. Q: “What’s the difference between a guitar and a fish?”
A: “You can’t tuna fish.”

91. Q: What do prisoners use to call each other?
A: Cell phones.

92. Q: Where do snowmen keep their money?
A: In snow banks.

93. Q: What washes up on very small beaches?
A: Microwaves!

94. Q: Why couldn’t the pirate play cards?
A: Because he was sitting on the deck!

95. Q: Why did the traffic light turn red?
A: You would too if you had to change in the middle of the street!

96. Q: What did one elevator say to the other elevator?
A: I think I’m coming down with something!

97. Q: What do you call someone who is afraid of Santa?
A: A Clausterphobic

98. Q: What sound do porcupines make when they kiss?
A: Ouch

99. Q: Why was the guy looking for fast food on his friend?
A: Because his friend said dinner is on me.

100. Q: What do you get when you cross a snowman with a vampire?
A: Frostbite.

Hilarious One Liner Jokes

101. A day without sunshine is like, night.

102. Born free, taxed to death.

103. For Sale: Parachute. Only used once, never opened.

104. Because those men already have boyfriends.

105. What’s the difference between a paycheck and a pen*s? You don’t have to beg your wife to blow your paycheck.

106. Love may be blind, but marriage is a real eye-opener.

107. Why did the bee get married? Because he found his honey.

108. What do you call a boomerang that doesn’t come back? A stick.

109. Why is the man who invests all your money called a broker?

110. A computer once beat me at chess, but it was no match for me at kickboxing.

111. How do you get a sweet 80-year-old lady to say the F-word?

112. Get another sweet little 80-year-old lady to yell *BINGO*!

113. Lottery: a tax on people who are bad at math.

114. If at first, you don’t succeed, destroy all evidence that you tried.

115. Eat right. Stay fit. Die anyway.

116. You cannot taste me until you undress me – Banana

117. You cannot eat me unless you lick me – Ice-cream

118. You cannot play with me unless you blow me – Balloon

Hilarious Yo Mama Jokes

119. Your moms like a bowling ball she gets picked up fingered thrown in the gutter and still comes back for more!

120. Yo mama so stupid, she tripped over a WIRELESS network!

121. Yo mama is so ugly that even Scooby Doo couldn’t solve that mystery.

122. Yo mamas like humpty dumpty first she gets humped then she gets dumped

123. Yo mama is like a hockey player, she only showers after three periods.

124. Yo mama’s like the Pillsbury dough boy…. everybody pokes her.

125. Yo momma so fat she sued Xbox 360 for guessing her weight

126. Yo Mama so ugly, even hello kitty said goodbye.

127. Yo momma’s so fat, she’s got more chins than a Hong Kong phonebook

128. Yo mama so fat, everytime she walks she does the harlem shake

129. Yo mama so old she knew Burger King while he was still a prince.

130. Yo mama’s mouth is so big that she speaks in surround sound.

131. Yo Mama So Fat she has mass whether the Higgs Boson exists or not.

132. Yo momma is so poor she created a gmail account just so she can eat the spam

133. Yo momma is poor when I sat on a skateboard she said (get of my family van)

134. Yo mama so stupid, her teacher told her to get out a pen and paper, and she got out a hen and raped her.

135. Yo mama so nasty she looks like an ogre and smells like puss in boots

136. Yo Momma so fat, I bumped into her and said “Sorry, my mistake.” And she said “Did you just say steak?!”

137. Yo mama so ugly she had to trick or treat over the phone

138. Yo mamas so fat she needs cheat codes for Wii Fit.

139. Yo mama so fat she has two watches one for each time zone she’s in.

140. Yo Mama’s so dirty, the roaches wrote her an eviction notice.

141. Yo mama so fat she sat on an iPad and turned it into a Flat Screen TV

142. Yo momma is so fat she sat on Walmart and lowered the prices

Hilarious Clean Jokes

143. Q: What did Bacon say to Tomato?
A: Lettuce get together!

144. Q: What do you call a computer that sings?
A: A-Dell

145. Q: If Mississippi bought Virginia a New Jersey, what would Delaware?
A: Idaho… Alaska!

146. Q: Did you hear about that new broom?
A: It’s sweeping the nation!

147. Q: “What’s the difference between a guitar and a fish?”
A: “You can’t tuna fish.”

148. Q: What do you call a baby monkey?
A: A Chimp off the old block.

149. Q: Did you hear about the shampoo shortage in Jamaica?
A: It’s dread-full.

150. Q: How do you make a tissue dance?
A: Put a little boogey in it!

151. Q: What is heavy forward but not backward?
A: Ton.

152. Q: What does a nosey pepper do?
A: Gets jalapeno business!

153. Q: What do you call a fake noodle?
A: An Impasta

154. Q: What do you call an alligator in a vest?
A: An Investigator

155. Q: What happens if you eat yeast and shoe polish?
A: Every morning you’ll rise and shine!

156. Q: What do lawyers wear to court?
A: Lawsuits!

157. Q: What gets wetter the more it dries?
A: A towel.

158. Q: Why did the belt get arrested?
A: He held up a pair of pants.

159. Q: What do you call a fat psychic?
A: A four chin teller.

160. Q: Did you hear about the race between the lettuce and the tomato?
A: The lettuce was a “head” and the tomato was trying to “ketchup”!

161. Q: Did you hear about the hungry clock?
A: It went back four seconds.

162. Q: What do you call a boy who finally stood up to the bullies?
A: An ambulance.

163. Q: What do you get from a pampered cow?
A: Spoiled milk.

164. Q: What do you call an elephant that doesn’t matter?
A: An irrelephant.

165. Q: What do you call a computer floating in the ocean?
A: A Dell Rolling in the Deep.

166. Q: What do you call a gangsta snowman?
A: Froze-T

167. Q: What did the femur say to the patella?
A: I kneed you.

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