135 Best Funny Corny Jokes and Cheesy One Liners

We have made a collection of some of the best funny corny jokes that will interest you, though some might sound cliché and probably old-fashioned, they will surely make you laugh out loud. These are clean jokes that will appeal to both the old and young, as well as the kids. Enjoy our great collection of best funny corny jokes. Free free to laugh it out loud while reading.

Funny Corny Jokes – Best Corny Jokes

1. Q: What did one toilet say to the other toilet?
A: You look flushed

2. Q: Why is there a gate around cemeteries?
A: Because people are dying to get in!

3. Q: Why wouldn’t the shrimp share his treasure?
A: Because he was a little shellfish

4. Q: “What’s the difference between a guitar and a fish?”
A: “You can’t tuna fish.”

5. Q: Did you hear about the race between the lettuce and the tomato?
A: The lettuce was a “head” and the tomato was trying to “ketchup”!

6. Q: What do you call security guards working outside Samsung shops?
A: Guardians of the Galaxy.


7. Q: Why does a Moon-rock taste better than an Earth-rock?
A: Because it’s a little meteor

8. Q: Why is Peter Pan always flying?
A: He never lands!

9. Q: Why did the picture go to jail?
A: Because it was framed!

10. Q: What did the digital clock say to the grandfather clock?
A: Look grandpa, no hands!

11. Q: What is an astronaut’s favourite place on a computer?
A: The Spacebar!

12. Q: Which month do soldiers hate most?
A: The month of March!

13. Q: What runs but doesn’t get anywhere?
A: A refrigerator

14. Q: What do you get when you cross a snowman with a vampire?
A: Frostbite

15. Q: What do you call an apology written in dots and dashes?
A: Remorse code.

16. Q: Why couldn’t the bicycle stand up by itself?
A: It was two-tired!

17. Q: Why did the cookie go to the hospital?
A: Because he felt crummy

18. Q: Why did Johnny throw the clock out of the window?
A: Because he wanted to see time fly!

19. Q: Why was the baby strawberry crying?
A: Because his mom and dad were in a jam.

20. Q: What do lawyers wear to court?
A: Lawsuits!

21. Q: What did the tree say to the wind?
A: Leaf me alone!

22. Q: What did the horse say when he fell?
A: Help, I’ve fallen and I can’t giddy up!

23. Q: What do they call cans in Mexico?
A: Mexi-cans

24. Q: Why did the scarecrow win an award?
A: Because he was out-standing in his field.

25. Q: Which is the longest word in the dictionary?
A: “Smiles”, because there is a mile between each ‘s’

26. Q: When does Friday come before Thursday?
A: In the dictionary

27. Q: How do crazy people go through the forest?
A: They take the psycho-path.

28. Q: What kind of bird sticks to sweaters?
A: a Vel-Crow

29. Q: What did the worker at the rubber band factory say when he lost his job?
A: Oh Snap!

30. Q: What did one hat say to another?
A: You stay here, I’ll go on a-head

31. Q: What did the elder chimney say to the younger chimney?
A: You’re too young to smoke!

32. Q: What do you call a fake noodle?
A: An impasta

33. Q: What lights up a soccer stadium?
A: A soccer match

34. Q: Why shouldn’t you write with a broken pencil?
A: Because it’s pointless.

35. Q: What do call cheese that isn’t yours?
A: Nacho Cheese

36. Q: What do you call four bullfighters standing in quicksand?
A: Quattro Sinko

37. Q: What lies at the bottom of the ocean and twitches?
A: A nervous wreck

38. Q: Why couldn’t dracula’s wife get to sleep?
A: Because of his coffin.

39. Q. What did the lawyer name his daughter?
A. Sue

Cute Corny Jokes – Really Corny Jokes – Short Corny Jokes

40. Q. What did the cat say after eating two robins lying in the sun?
A. I just love baskin’ robins.

41. Q: Why did the barber win the race?
A: Because he took a short-cut.

42. Q: Where do boats go when they get sick?
A: The dock

43. Q: What pet makes the loudest noise?
A: A trum-pet!

44. Q: What is the best day to go to the beach?
A: Sunday, of course!

45. Q: Why was the guy looking for fast food on his friend?
A: Because his friend said dinner is on me.

46. Q: Did you hear the joke about the roof?
A: Never mind, it’s over your head!

47. Q: Why didn’t the skeleton go to the dance?
A: Because he had no-body to go with.

48. Q: What did the man say to the wall?
A: One more crack like that and I’ll plaster ya!

49. Q: Why did the tomato turn red?
A: It saw the salad dressing!

50. Q: What did the janitor say when he jumped out of the closet?

51. Q: Why did the robber take a bath?
A: Because he wanted to make a clean getaway.

52. Q: What happens if life gives you melons?
A: Your dyslexic

53. Q: What did the judge say to the dentist?
A: Do you swear to pull the tooth, the whole tooth and nothing but the tooth.

54. Q: Why did the boy tiptoe past the medicine cabinet?
A: He didn’t want to wake the sleeping pills!

55. Q: Who cleans the bottom of the ocean?
A: A Mer-Maid

56. Q: What is heavy forward but not backward?
A: Ton.

57. Q: What do you get when you plant kisses?
A: Tu-lips (two-lips)

58. Q: What pet makes the loudest noise?
A: A trum-pet!

59. Q: What do you call an alligator in a vest?
A: An Investigator

60. Q: What stays in the corner and travels all over the world?
A: A stamp

61. Q: What kind of key opens a banana?
A: A monkey!

62. Q: What’s easy to get into but hard to get out of?
A: Trouble

63. Q: What do you call two fat people having a chat?
A: A heavy discussion

64. Q: What dog keeps the best time?
A: A watch-dog

65. Q: Why did the traffic light turn red?
A: You would too if you had to change in the middle of the street!

66. Q: What did one elevator say to the other elevator?
A: I think I’m coming down with something!

67. Q: What do you say when you lose a wii game?
A: I want a wii-match!

68. Q: How do you make an Octopus laugh?
A: With ten-tickles

69. Q: What did the hamburger name his daughter?
A: Patty!

70. Q: What kind of egg did the bad chicken lay?
A: A deviled egg!

71. Q: What kind of key opens the door on Thanksgiving?
A: A turkey!

72. Q: Why did the cookie go to the hospital?
A: He felt crummy!

73. Q: What stays in the corner and travels all over the world?
A: A stamp.

74. Q: Why did the computer go to the doctor?
A: Because it had a virus!

75. Q: Why are frogs so happy?
A: They eat whatever bugs them

76. Q: When do you stop at green and go at red?
A: When you’re eating a watermelon!

77. Q: How did the farmer mend his pants?
A: With cabbage patches!

78. Q: Why did the man put his money in the freezer?
A: He wanted cold hard cash!

79. Q: What kind of crackers do firemen like in their soup?
A: Firecrackers!

80. Q: What do you call a guy who never farts in public?
A: A private tutor

Cute Corny Knock Knock Jokes

81. Knock, knock.
Who’s there?
Scold who?
Scold enough out here to go ice skating.

82. Knock, knock.
Who’s there?
Police who?
Police hurry up, it’s chilly outside!

83. Knock Knock
Who’s there?
Cows go
Cows go who?
Cows go moo not who.

84. knock knock
who’s there
Andy who
Andy bit me again owwwwwwwwwwww.

85. Knock, knock.
Who’s there?
Cow’s go
Cow’s go who?
Cow’s don’t go who, they go moo!

86. Knock, knock.
Who’s there?
Etch who?
Bless you!

87. Knock, knock
Who’s there?
Merry who?
Merry Christmas!

88. Knock, knock.
Who’s there?
Orange who?
Orange you going to let me in?

89. Knock knock.
Who’s there?
I eat map.
I eat map who?

90. Knock, knock.
Who’s there?
Adore who?
Adore is between us. Open up!

91. Knock, knock.
Who’s there?
Harry who?
Harry up, it’s cold out here!

92. Knock, knock.
Who’s there?
Dwayne who?
Dwayne the bathtub, It’s overflowing!

93. Knock, knock.
Who’s there?
Otto who?
Otto know. I’ve got amnesia.

94. Knock, knock.
Who’s there?
King Tut.
King Tut who?
King Tut-key fried chicken!

95. Knock, knock.
Who’s there?
Robin who?
Robin the piggy bank again.

96. Knock, knock.
Who’s there?
Abby who?
Abby birthday to you!

97. Knock, knock.
Who’s there?
Anee, who?
Anee one you like!

98. Knock, knock
Who’s there?
Iva who?
I’ve a sore hand from knocking!

99. Knock, knock.
Who’s there?
Claire who?
Claire the way, I’m coming through!

100. Knock, knock.
Who’s there?
Arfur who?
Arfur got!

101. Knock, knock.
Who’s there?
Lettuce who?
Lettuce in it’s cold out here.

102. Knock, knock
Who’s there?
Boo Hoo?
Don’t cry, it’s just me!

103. Knock knock.
Who’s there?
Honey bee.
Honey bee who?
Honey bee a dear and get me a soda!

104. Knock knock.
Who’s there?
Interrupting doctor.
Interrup-You have cancer.

105. Knock, knock.
Who’s there?
Iona who?
Iona new car!

106. Knock, knock.
Who’s there?
Roach who?
Roach you a letter, did
you get it?

107. Knock, knock.
Who’s there?
Aida who?
Aida sandwich for lunch today.

108. Knock, knock.
Who’s there?
Hoo who?
Are you an owl?

109. Knock, knock.
Who’s there?
A herd.
A herd who?
A herd you were home, so I came over!

110. Knock, knock.
Who’s there?
Noah who?
Noah good place we can get something to eat?

111. Knock, knock
Who’s there?
Justin who?
Just in the neighbourhood, thought I would drop by.

112. Knock, knock
Who’s there?
Ben who?
Ben knocking For 10 minutes.

113. Knock, knock.
Who’s there?
Dozen who?
Dozen anybody wants to let me in?

114. Knock, knock.
Who’s there?
Needle who?
Needle little money for the movies.

115. Knock, knock.
Who’s there?
Two knee.
Two knee who?
Two-knee fish!

116. Knock-knock
Who’s there?
A pile-up.
A pile-up who?

117. Knock Knock
Who’s There
Cargo who?
Car go beep beep!

118. Knock, knock.
Who’s there?
Henrietta who?
Henrietta worm that was
in his apple.

119. Knock, knock.
Who’s there?
Canoe who?
Canoe help me with my home

120. Knock, knock.
Who’s there?
Nana who?
Nana your business.

Corny Love Jokes

121. The only thing your eyes haven’t told me is your name.

122. Honey, you give new meaning to the definition of ‘edible’.

123. I think I can die happy now, coz I’ve just seen a piece of heaven.

124. You must be a magician, because every time I look at you, everyone else disappears.

125. If I had a rose for every time I thought of you, I would be walking through my garden forever.

126. I wish I was one of your tears, so I could be born in your eyes, run down your cheek, and die on your lips.

127. Can you give me directions to your heart? I’ve seemed to have lost myself in your eyes.

128. It’s not my fault I fell in love, you are the one that tripped me.

129. Do you have a Bandaid? Cos I just scraped my knee falling for you.

130. Do you have a map? Cos Honey, I just keep getting lost in your eyes.

131. You’re eyes are bluer than the Atlantic ocean and baby, I’m all lost at sea.

132. I’m no organ donor, but I’d be happy to give you my heart.

133. When I first saw you I looked for a signature, because every masterpiece has one.

134. Excuse me…Hi, I’m writing an essay on the finer things in life, and I was wondering if I could interview you.

135. Hello. Cupid called. He says to tell you that he needs my heart back.

Recommended Readings:

20+ Cheesy One-Liners That Will Have You In Tears
160+ Extremely Good Jokes


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