We have made a collection of some of the best funny corny jokes that will interest you, though some might sound cliché and probably old-fashioned, they will surely make you laugh out loud. These are clean jokes that will appeal to both the old and young, as well as the kids. Enjoy our great collection of best funny corny jokes. Free free to laugh it out loud while reading.
Funny Corny Jokes – Best Corny Jokes
1. Q: What did one toilet say to the other toilet?
A: You look flushed
2. Q: Why is there a gate around cemeteries?
A: Because people are dying to get in!
3. Q: Why wouldn’t the shrimp share his treasure?
A: Because he was a little shellfish
4. Q: “What’s the difference between a guitar and a fish?”
A: “You can’t tuna fish.”
5. Q: Did you hear about the race between the lettuce and the tomato?
A: The lettuce was a “head” and the tomato was trying to “ketchup”!
6. Q: What do you call security guards working outside Samsung shops?
A: Guardians of the Galaxy.
7. Q: Why does a Moon-rock taste better than an Earth-rock?
A: Because it’s a little meteor
8. Q: Why is Peter Pan always flying?
A: He never lands!
9. Q: Why did the picture go to jail?
A: Because it was framed!
10. Q: What did the digital clock say to the grandfather clock?
A: Look grandpa, no hands!
11. Q: What is an astronaut’s favourite place on a computer?
A: The Spacebar!
12. Q: Which month do soldiers hate most?
A: The month of March!
13. Q: What runs but doesn’t get anywhere?
A: A refrigerator
14. Q: What do you get when you cross a snowman with a vampire?
15. Q: What do you call an apology written in dots and dashes?
A: Remorse code.
16. Q: Why couldn’t the bicycle stand up by itself?
A: It was two-tired!
17. Q: Why did the cookie go to the hospital?
A: Because he felt crummy
18. Q: Why did Johnny throw the clock out of the window?
A: Because he wanted to see time fly!
19. Q: Why was the baby strawberry crying?
A: Because his mom and dad were in a jam.
20. Q: What do lawyers wear to court?
21. Q: What did the tree say to the wind?
A: Leaf me alone!
22. Q: What did the horse say when he fell?
A: Help, I’ve fallen and I can’t giddy up!
23. Q: What do they call cans in Mexico?
24. Q: Why did the scarecrow win an award?
A: Because he was out-standing in his field.
25. Q: Which is the longest word in the dictionary?
A: “Smiles”, because there is a mile between each ‘s’
26. Q: When does Friday come before Thursday?
A: In the dictionary
27. Q: How do crazy people go through the forest?
A: They take the psycho-path.
28. Q: What kind of bird sticks to sweaters?
A: a Vel-Crow
29. Q: What did the worker at the rubber band factory say when he lost his job?
A: Oh Snap!
30. Q: What did one hat say to another?
A: You stay here, I’ll go on a-head
31. Q: What did the elder chimney say to the younger chimney?
A: You’re too young to smoke!
32. Q: What do you call a fake noodle?
A: An impasta
33. Q: What lights up a soccer stadium?
A: A soccer match
34. Q: Why shouldn’t you write with a broken pencil?
A: Because it’s pointless.
35. Q: What do call cheese that isn’t yours?
A: Nacho Cheese
36. Q: What do you call four bullfighters standing in quicksand?
A: Quattro Sinko
37. Q: What lies at the bottom of the ocean and twitches?
A: A nervous wreck
38. Q: Why couldn’t dracula’s wife get to sleep?
A: Because of his coffin.
39. Q. What did the lawyer name his daughter?
Cute Corny Jokes – Really Corny Jokes – Short Corny Jokes
40. Q. What did the cat say after eating two robins lying in the sun?
A. I just love baskin’ robins.
41. Q: Why did the barber win the race?
A: Because he took a short-cut.
42. Q: Where do boats go when they get sick?
A: The dock
43. Q: What pet makes the loudest noise?
A: A trum-pet!
44. Q: What is the best day to go to the beach?
A: Sunday, of course!
45. Q: Why was the guy looking for fast food on his friend?
A: Because his friend said dinner is on me.
46. Q: Did you hear the joke about the roof?
A: Never mind, it’s over your head!
47. Q: Why didn’t the skeleton go to the dance?
A: Because he had no-body to go with.
48. Q: What did the man say to the wall?
A: One more crack like that and I’ll plaster ya!
49. Q: Why did the tomato turn red?
A: It saw the salad dressing!
50. Q: What did the janitor say when he jumped out of the closet?
51. Q: Why did the robber take a bath?
A: Because he wanted to make a clean getaway.
52. Q: What happens if life gives you melons?
A: Your dyslexic
53. Q: What did the judge say to the dentist?
A: Do you swear to pull the tooth, the whole tooth and nothing but the tooth.
54. Q: Why did the boy tiptoe past the medicine cabinet?
A: He didn’t want to wake the sleeping pills!
55. Q: Who cleans the bottom of the ocean?
A: A Mer-Maid
56. Q: What is heavy forward but not backward?
57. Q: What do you get when you plant kisses?
A: Tu-lips (two-lips)
58. Q: What pet makes the loudest noise?
A: A trum-pet!
59. Q: What do you call an alligator in a vest?
A: An Investigator
60. Q: What stays in the corner and travels all over the world?
A: A stamp
61. Q: What kind of key opens a banana?
A: A monkey!
62. Q: What’s easy to get into but hard to get out of?
63. Q: What do you call two fat people having a chat?
A: A heavy discussion
64. Q: What dog keeps the best time?
A: A watch-dog
65. Q: Why did the traffic light turn red?
A: You would too if you had to change in the middle of the street!
66. Q: What did one elevator say to the other elevator?
A: I think I’m coming down with something!
67. Q: What do you say when you lose a wii game?
A: I want a wii-match!
68. Q: How do you make an Octopus laugh?
A: With ten-tickles
69. Q: What did the hamburger name his daughter?
70. Q: What kind of egg did the bad chicken lay?
A: A deviled egg!
71. Q: What kind of key opens the door on Thanksgiving?
A: A turkey!
72. Q: Why did the cookie go to the hospital?
A: He felt crummy!
73. Q: What stays in the corner and travels all over the world?
A: A stamp.
74. Q: Why did the computer go to the doctor?
A: Because it had a virus!
75. Q: Why are frogs so happy?
A: They eat whatever bugs them
76. Q: When do you stop at green and go at red?
A: When you’re eating a watermelon!
77. Q: How did the farmer mend his pants?
A: With cabbage patches!
78. Q: Why did the man put his money in the freezer?
A: He wanted cold hard cash!
79. Q: What kind of crackers do firemen like in their soup?
80. Q: What do you call a guy who never farts in public?
A: A private tutor
Cute Corny Knock Knock Jokes
81. Knock, knock.
Scold enough out here to go ice skating.
82. Knock, knock.
Police hurry up, it’s chilly outside!
83. Knock Knock
Cows go who?
Cows go moo not who.
84. knock knock
Andy bit me again owwwwwwwwwwww.
85. Knock, knock.
Cow’s go who?
Cow’s don’t go who, they go moo!
86. Knock, knock.
87. Knock, knock
88. Knock, knock.
Orange you going to let me in?
89. Knock knock.
I eat map.
I eat map who?
90. Knock, knock.
Adore is between us. Open up!
91. Knock, knock.
Harry up, it’s cold out here!
92. Knock, knock.
Dwayne the bathtub, It’s overflowing!
93. Knock, knock.
Otto know. I’ve got amnesia.
94. Knock, knock.
King Tut who?
King Tut-key fried chicken!
95. Knock, knock.
Robin the piggy bank again.
96. Knock, knock.
Abby birthday to you!
97. Knock, knock.
Anee one you like!
98. Knock, knock
I’ve a sore hand from knocking!
99. Knock, knock.
Claire the way, I’m coming through!
100. Knock, knock.
101. Knock, knock.
Lettuce in it’s cold out here.
102. Knock, knock
Don’t cry, it’s just me!
103. Knock knock.
Honey bee who?
Honey bee a dear and get me a soda!
104. Knock knock.
Interrup-You have cancer.
105. Knock, knock.
Iona new car!
106. Knock, knock.
Roach you a letter, did
you get it?
107. Knock, knock.
Aida sandwich for lunch today.
108. Knock, knock.
Are you an owl?
109. Knock, knock.
A herd who?
A herd you were home, so I came over!
110. Knock, knock.
Noah good place we can get something to eat?
111. Knock, knock
Just in the neighbourhood, thought I would drop by.
112. Knock, knock
Ben knocking For 10 minutes.
113. Knock, knock.
Dozen anybody wants to let me in?
114. Knock, knock.
Needle little money for the movies.
115. Knock, knock.
Two knee who?
A pile-up who?
117. Knock Knock
Car go beep beep!
118. Knock, knock.
Henrietta worm that was
in his apple.
119. Knock, knock.
Canoe help me with my home
120. Knock, knock.
Nana your business.
Corny Love Jokes
121. The only thing your eyes haven’t told me is your name.
122. Honey, you give new meaning to the definition of ‘edible’.
123. I think I can die happy now, coz I’ve just seen a piece of heaven.
124. You must be a magician, because every time I look at you, everyone else disappears.
125. If I had a rose for every time I thought of you, I would be walking through my garden forever.
126. I wish I was one of your tears, so I could be born in your eyes, run down your cheek, and die on your lips.
127. Can you give me directions to your heart? I’ve seemed to have lost myself in your eyes.
128. It’s not my fault I fell in love, you are the one that tripped me.
129. Do you have a Bandaid? Cos I just scraped my knee falling for you.
130. Do you have a map? Cos Honey, I just keep getting lost in your eyes.
131. You’re eyes are bluer than the Atlantic ocean and baby, I’m all lost at sea.
132. I’m no organ donor, but I’d be happy to give you my heart.
133. When I first saw you I looked for a signature, because every masterpiece has one.
134. Excuse me…Hi, I’m writing an essay on the finer things in life, and I was wondering if I could interview you.
135. Hello. Cupid called. He says to tell you that he needs my heart back.