We caught a story about a woman who renamed herself Beautiful Existence, then proceeded to travel to Paris to get married to herself, in the presence of three friends in a ceremony officiated by a minister over skype! Now you would be forgiven for believing that those events were the resultant effect of an over active imagination, coupled with the time and ability to bring said imagination into existence, but you would be wrong on the note that self marriage is indeed a thing.
According to Wikipedia, self marriage is the marriage by a person to themselves and is also known as sologamy. An appreciable amount (at least to the extent that it can no longer be considered a strictly odd occurrence) of people over the years have engaged in self marriage and the concept has even been depicted in both movies and books. Of these slim pickings however, Beautiful Existence’s ceremony most lends itself to a case in point because asides from being the most recently widely publicized, self marriage ceremony, her new name likewise points to a characterization of types of persons who are most drawn to the concept.
The name seemingly depicts an acceptance of self, a healthy (or unhealthy) celebration of one’s presence or journey on earth and that is a good thing. The people; mostly women who opt for self marriage all seem to echo this same sentiment of self acceptance and responsibility to self, Jennifer Hoes who married herself in 2003 in the Netherlands explains her decision this way;
“I married myself at the moment I was prepared to embrace my own life and agree on the responsibilities that come with that.”
Another woman Brit Gates who married herself in 2014 said it was a celebration of her “personal development”.
This however is where the confusion lies, actually it may lie in many other places besides, which we’ll enumerate later on, but this is probably the most serious of the lot; wouldn’t a large party celebrating all that you are, how far you have come and all the potential still rolled out before you suffice? In self marrying and committing to yourself, are you not doing what is already done?
Generally, we spend each day learning to love ourselves better, take care of our bodies and emotions and everything in between, so what really changes in a self marriage? Which leads to the other questions we spoke about earlier;
If you go on a date when you are self married, are you cheating on yourself?
Do you have to divorce yourself if you do indeed find ‘the one’ later on?
If a divorce is actually necessary, do you have to part with half of your stuff?
Honestly though, would you consider self marriage, what are your thoughts on the concept and how would you tell your African parents about it?